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Sunday, December 30, 2012

Hurricane Regina Audiobook Released

The Girl Who Forgot to Say “But”



The  Girl Who Forgot to Say “But”

“Dad, tell us how you met mom.”
“Well, it’s not how I met your mom that’s interesting. It’s how we stayed together.”
“What?”
“Well, your mother and I had been having some problems. A lot of them, really, mostly me. So we had broken up for a time. She would tell me, ‘I love you, but…’. And I wouldn’t let her finish.”
“Okay. So?”
“So one day, when I was at my worst, feeling sorry for myself, she said, ‘I love you’.”
“And?”
“And she forgot to say ‘but’.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it. We’ve been together ever since.”
“Corny, dad.”
“Nevertheless.”

Friday, December 21, 2012

Perfect Me/Hurricane Regina - Free Through Christmas

Perfect Me - Funny Sci-Fi

Hurricane Regina - Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Both are free for the Kindle through Christmas day.

Penultimate Hustle: L.A. - Chapter One



1 – Touchdown

Chris and Janique touched down in L.A. and immediately visited their lawyer to sign the papers insuring their continued freedom. It was a handshake agreement that largely revolved around an exorbitant sum of money. There were tears in Janique’s eyes when the deal was done and she was assured of not being separated from Chris.
“Never again,” she said, hugging him tightly as they left the courthouse.
“Now what?”
“To paraphrase Ray Kroc, I don’t make porn, I deal in real estate.”
“So…”
“Office space. Tomorrow. Tonight, I want to be with you. Free.”
###
That night they withdrew some play money and rented a room for two nights so they could sleep late.
The next afternoon, Janique had her own floor in an eight storey office complex in the valley, with an option on the floor above.
“Oh, Chris,” Janique said, hugging him. “It’s perfect.”
They made love on the floor as soon as the realtor left them.
###
The next few weeks were set aside for planning and decorating. Chris was exhausted just watching Janique work, and eventually suggested she hire an assistant.
“But Chris, you’re my assistant.”
“Be that as it may, love, you don’t let me do anything.”
“You’re sweet. Being with me is all I need.”
“Still.”
“Oh, alright. Whores, or someone serious?”
“While I appreciate a good whore, I think you need a receptionist.”
“Fuck Ray Kroc. Whores first,” Janique said.
The next day, she ran an ad. Two days later, there were three potential draftees up for interview: Mia, Gia, and Lateesha. Mia and Gia were blonde twins. Lateesha was a beautiful black girl with an impossibly shapely ass and coal dark skin. Janique arranged her interview for the next day.
Chris, meanwhile, worked on Tokio’s case preliminaries and ran an ad for Janique’s personal assistant.
When Lateesha came in for her interview, Janique had a contract packet ready and began detailing the benefits plan.
“Two hundred thousand for fourteen films, plus health insurance.”
“Two hundred thousand?”
“Yes, upon completion.”
“Where do I sign?”
“I’m sure you want time to read it over and decide.”
“No, thank you. I’ll sign now.”
“Well, there’s still an audition process, but I’ll let you sign today if you want.”
“Yes, ma’am, I do.”
Janique slid the packet across the desk. “You can still back out by not doing the movies.”
“Oh, I’ll do them. I need the money.”
Lateesha signed, and Janique said, “Okay, then, let’s get you started on the package.”
“The package?”
“Tonsils, braces, tibal ligation, etcetera.”
“Tubal ligation?”
“Reversible. Drug test.”
“Drug test?”
“Drugs are not a dealbreaker. We just like to know where everyone is at.”
“Oh.”
“Chris, what do you think? Anal bleaching on a black girl?”
Chris looked over his newspaper. “Might be cool. Like a bullseye.”
“Anal bleaching?” Lateesha asked nervously.
“Sure. And a neck tattoo of our logo.”
Janique made a call to her doctors.
“Okay, you’re all set, Lateesha. Go here to start the package, and report back tomorrow for the audition.”
Neither mentioned that the contract gave any other Ultimate Hustle employee complete sexual access to the signee at any time, and always on camera.
###
“Chris,” Janique said the next day, “I want to go see Tokio.”
“I’ll get us on his visitor’s list.”
Lateesha came in with a sore ass, showing off her neck tattoo. When she got up to use the restroom, Janique handed Chris a tube of cocoa butter and said, “Do your duty.”
He caught her at the sink, his cock already erect and lubricated.
“Lateesha, you can still back out, but I’m here to audition you.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that. You should have read your contract.”
“Can I suck it first?”
“Sure.”
She did so and said, “Bleh, tastes like hand cream.”
“Let’s start over,” Chris said, washing.
“Mmm, that’s better,” she said, and began her ministrations. Soon, Chris had her bent over the sink, delivering an anal pounding like she had never had before. He observed her in the mirror and came up with her porn star name.
He finished on her face for the cameras Janique had installed everywhere. Lateesha wore the cum out into the offices, where Janique filmed her with a handheld.
Chris whispered in her ear, and Janique said, “Your porn star name is Fuckface.”
“Fuckface. Uh-uh, I’m Queen Lateesha.”
“Read your contract. You’re Fuckface. But you passed the screen test. Great footage.”
###
Lateesha, now dubbed Fuckface, went to have it tattooed on her lower back while Chris and Janique met with Janice Livingston, the personal assistant candidate. Her credentials were unparalleled.
“Mr. and Mrs. Turner, I have but one request: no touching. That aside, I’d love to be part of the Ultimate Hustle family.”
“Chris…”
“I can do that.”
“So what do you think?”
“She’s your assistant.”
“Then yes, you’re hired.”
“Thank you, ma’am. You won’t regret this.”
Janice’s office consisted of a phone, desk, and empty filing cabinet. When not answering the phone, which was mostly silent, she busied herself with writing. Her phone list consisted of one actress, two potential hires, and a Japanese restaurant Chris and Janique favored.
“So tell us, Janice,” Janique asked, “What made you want to work for Ultimate Hustle?”
“Oh, to be on a winning team. Publishing is dead.”
“But you know what we do here, right?”
“Certainly. You make Hollywood grade pornography, and run a legal escort service.”
“And what do you know about us?”
“Chris Turner, consomm√© x-rated actor, devoted husband,  strong arm robber, ex-drug dealer and bagman for a heavy Japanese consortium.”
“Ooh, do me,” Janique said.”
“Janique Turner, nymphomaniac, sexiest adult actress in the world, devoted wife and lover, driven by a desire for art and extreme wealth.”
“Wow. You really did your research.”
“I try, madame.”
“Here’s what we need today.”
Janice readied her pen.
“First, make sure Chris and I are on the visitation list for Tokio Jones. Here’s the number.”
She handed her a Post-It note.
“Second, arrange a visit for today, and schedule a screen test for Gia and Mia.”
“No problem.”
“Finally, we need to make this place functional. Get phones in each room. Here,” Janique said, “Is the number of the AV guys who did the cameras. Also, I think we need designers. Try and find us the perfect interior decorators.”
Janique busied herself with planning while Janice made calls and Chris read.
Eventually, Janice stuck her head in their office door and said, “Done. Mr. Tokio Jones, one p.m., Gia and Mia, four p.m. I’ll be interviewing designers all afternoon. Is that acceptable?”
“It’s great, Janice, thank you.”
They drove to the prison Tokio had been transferred to, both feeling tense as they approached. Their sense of unease never left during their stay.
The visitation room was loud and harsh, dirty plexiglass and whitewashed cinderblock. It pained Chris and Janique to see Tokio when he was finally wheeled in to see them. Chris tried to talk, but quickly grew frustrated at the noise level. Janique was afraid he would lose his temper.
“Hey, shut the fuck up,” Tokio growled. “Can’t you see that’s Chris motherfucking Turner?”
Instantly, conversations on both sides of the glass were reduced to low murmurs.
“Toke, man, how are you?” Chris asked.
“Chris Turner, ain’t you a sight for sore eyes. What are you doing here?”
“We have your money. We’re going to make arrangements for your operation.”
“You’re bullshitting me.”
“Never. We’re also going to motion for a retrial.”
Tokio’s eyes misted over at the thought.
“Serious?” he asked
“Never more serious about anything,” Janique stepped in and said.
Toke let out a low whistle. “This must be Janique. You’re even more beautiful than he described you, and the man is a stone poet.”
Embarassed, Janique said, “Do you have a lawyer in mind, or should we use ours?”
“Man, I’m still trippin’ off the operation news. But I do have a dude you can use to augment your legal team. Cat by the name of Payback.”
“Payback. Is it safe to assume he’s a motherfucker?”
“Heh. We’re all motherfuckers in here. But, no, he’s just meticulous about staying out of debt. That’s how he got the name.”
“Do you know his number?”
“Of course.” Tokio recited it while Janique wrote it down in her flowery script on rose-colored paper.
“Worry no more, Toke. The cavalry is here,” Chris said.
“How’s Hazel?”
“She’s, um, resting,” Janique cut in. “But we’re bringing Ultimate Hustle to L.A.”
“Wow. This is like Christmas and my birthday put together.”
“Do you need commissary money?” Chris asked.
“A true player will always stay fed, and a true player will always stay paid. But, sure, actual ash would be nice.”
Janique wrote this down as well.
“Say, I’m slippin’, with the excitement and all. Show me them titties, girl.”
She blushed. “But of course,” she said, revealing her perfect tits and pushing them against the glass. Tokio’s hand moved instinctively to his crotch. Then she raised her skirt, revealing her shaved mound and a pair of diamond and platinum wedding rings.
“Whoa, whoa,” Tokio said. “You can’t do that to me. Damn, girl.”
“Sorry, Mr. Tokio, sir,” she said primly.
“So, are we cool?” Chris asked.
“Cool? You two are Frosty and Santa. I’m gonna call you Kris Kringle.”
The guards came for him, and they said their goodbyes, all three leaving considerably happier than when they had arrived.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Amber's Chronicles



I never thought going to the bathroom could be such a big deal. Wait, let me back up. My name is Amber, and these are my chronicles. That's a literary joke, I don't expect you to get it. The Chronicles of Amber is a series by author Roger  Zelazny. It's my favorite set of books, given to me by father.
My father is an asshole, and my mom is a dumb bitch.
Not exactly, you know, but that's the sort of things kids are expected to say. They fucked up and got  divorced. Mainly because they fought all the time. I guess  that’s an acceptable reason. Still, I don’t care for the arrangement. So I’m on a bus to go back to live with mom. Which is where the bathroom thing comes into play.
The bus is gross. It’s cross-country, and the bathroom on the bus is unusable. Consequently, I have to plan my bathroom breaks and time them with the bus stops, so I can use the slightly less gross toilets at the gas and bus stations. Each time, I’m so relieved, literally, I almost cry. If this is life, I’m not sure I want any part of it.
The only bright spot in this so far is that I already have a boyfriend when I get there. Zak, his name is. He wrote me at my dad’s when he found out I was moving back. He says we went to elementary school together. Truth be told, I don’t remember him. Still, it’s sort of sweet.
His first letter said:
Hi, Amber,
My name is Zak, and I’d like to be your boyfriend. Wait for me.
Sincerely, Zak
How can a girl resist that? Actually, I think most girls could, but most girls are dumb. Like the girls at my old school. I call them The Police of Pretty High. They know nothing of romance.
I call them the police because they are the law at that school. Bitchy, judgmental, condescending law. Pretty High is because they’re all so insufferably pretty. Also because all of the guys are burned-out stoners.
Back to my bathroom stories. I was in a mental ward for a while. Fuck you. Sorry, but I get defensive about that. I’m not crazy. Even my doctor says it was an episode brought about by stress.
The bathrooms at the mental ward are a mess, as you might expect. Some of those people are really crazy. Even some of the girls are gross. So, same deal. You have to time your bathroom breaks around cleaning times, or find a bathroom that no one else uses. They’re all kept locked, for whatever dumb reason.
So my world currently revolves around clean toilets. It’s not where I wanted to be at fifteen, I assure you.
I sent my mom a letter when I found out I was being shipped off to live with her. I threw in one for Zak, too.
Dear Zak,
Okay.
Signed,
Amber
Not quite as romantic, but it’s the thought that counts. I don’t know why I’m blogging this. I feel dumb.
I already miss my dad. He’s a good guy, even though he’s basically a fuck up. Almost fifty and still working shit jobs to stay afloat. I do think it’s time to give mom a try again, though. Dad knows nothing of girly things.
I wish they had managed to work it out. Living on opposite coasts is a bit extreme. Still, I want to be a writer, and writers need something to write about. I just never expected my adventure to revolve around peeing.
I fell asleep and had a dream. Mom was there to pick me up, and Zak was with her. I ran up to him and he threw his arms around me and squeezed me and swung me around. I felt so happy.
It could happen, right? Happy endings and all that. Dreams coming true. I hope so. I need a reason to live.
###
 Zak wrote me back: "Do you believe in fate?"

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

New eBook - Self Publishing Tips and Tricks

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AL3XXT6

This is a collection of my blog posts concerning publishing, about 16,000 words. $.99 cents on Amazon and Smashwords.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Penultimate Hustle: Japan Cover Reveal


Just got my new cover for Penultimate Hustle: Japan from C.L. Smith of Humble Nations/Go On, Write.com. He's having a half off sale for pre-made covers, and this was $30! Plus he does the best typography. Fast. One day turnaround. I'm stoked.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Six Stories Short & Sweet is Free Today

Lost Manuscript Horror Stories

On a recent misguided and naive tour of L.A., I had all of my luggage stolen. Laptop, camera, microphone, phone. I don't care about that stuff.

I had *two* hand-written manuscripts in that luggage. I don't think words can describe that loss. Penultimate Hustle: L.A. and Army of me, which were at 100% and 80% complete, respectively, are gone forever.

Lessons to be learned all around. If you hand write, take it to Kinko's and have a copy made. And don't dawdle with typing them up. It's exhausting, but it beats rewriting from scratch.

I'm trying to be positive about the rewrites. I don't think I could match what I had done with the Ultimate Hustle text. Army of Me needed work, but not a total rewrite, for sure.

But I'm going to do it. The series and the fantasy novel were both favorites of my girlfriend, whom I write everything for.

I'm currently replotting the books from memory, determined to make them as good as they were before.

How about you? Have any lost manuscript horror stories?






Saturday, December 1, 2012

Making Money with KDP

A lot of people don't seem to understand how to turn free books into sales with Amazon's Kindle Direct Program. I really didn't know either, until recently.

Assuming you're enrolled, set up a two day promo. Of course, the more reviews and higher rated your books are, the better.

Then, a month in advance, do your work with the free book sites. I use this list from Katrina Williams, which is wonderful: http://katrinaparkerwilliams.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/kdp-select-free-days-promo-sites/

The trick is to start charting well right around the time the promo ends. And it is a good trick. That's where the month lead time can help assure you get listed on as many sites as possible.

When the free days end, you should see sales for at least a few days after. Another approach is to cancel your promo when you are charting well, but I don't feel this meshes well with the free book sites that are promoting you. It will still result in sales, though.

That's it. Go make some money.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Page Numbers in Createspace

Page numbering and author/title headers for paperback publication don't have to be difficult or complicated.

Open your Word .doc/.docx file.

Under 'Insert', select Footer. Insert a blank footer.

There will be a few options available at this point. Select 'Different First Page', Different Odd & Even Pages', and 'Show Document Text'.


Go back to the 'Insert' Menu. Select 'Insert Page Number' and use the bottom of the page.
Do the same for the next page, which will be the evens or odds, depending on where you first page falls.

Go to the same menu and add Headers. In the headers type your author name on one page, and the name of the novel on the other. Delete the footer text on the title page.

Done. Save it as a .doc file and upload it to Createspace. Your novel will now have pagenumbers and headers, relatively painlessly.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Radar Love is free all Weekend

Radar Love  FREE- the best #romance of 2012-2013. #love #superlove #prison #heroin #tomrobbins #kindle #free #ebook http://ow.ly/frP1y

When part-time construction worker and full-time hustler Chris Turner meets the girl of his dreams in a Dairy Queen drive-through, he induces her to climb out of the window and run away with him. She is Janique, and she's everything he's ever wanted. So begins a love affair that defies reason. Submission, piercings, and mock kidnappings are just foreplay for what's to come.

The two hard-loving antiheroes are so in love, they'd rather rob stores and banks than spend their days apart. It's all fun and games until they end up in connected prisons. Then it's up to Chris to get them out again, using only brutality, heroin, and a book by Tom Robbins...

An epic love story, first in the Ultimate Hustle series. Definitely contains explicit language and situations. The sequel, Penultimate Hustle: Japan is out now...

http://www.amazon.com/Radar-Love-Ultimate-Hustle-ebook/dp/B006LRKASI/

New Short Story Collection

http://www.amazon.com/More-Short-Stories-Sweet-ebook/dp/B00AC6RSQQ/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1353775317&sr=1-8&keywords=Six+more+Short+Stories


Six More Short Stories by Jason Z. Christie

Includes "Turning the Page", and "When the Levee Breaks" as well as a story by Brian Magar about me.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Oh Golden Muse

Leave me not now
In my hour of despair
For I say it
It's true
I cannot write
But for the love of you

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Skull, John D. Christie, III


Captor of my Heart

Captor of my Heart
Never release me
Wrapped in chains of love
Without key
This sentence is for life
Holding much appeal
Forever bear the stripes
With no last meal
Hope viewed from afar
Peering through the bars
Calling to the girl whose name
Is written in the stars

Pageburner Free All Weekend

Pageburner

Jason Z. Christie

collabs.and.covers@gmail.com

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jason-Z-Christie/148167058621572

@jasonzchristie

http://www.amazon.com/Pageburner-ebook/dp/B006IJUGVU/

B006IJUGVU

11-22-12 to 11-26-12

Paige Burner is the hottest L.A. murder detective imaginable, but she's so alone. Her only friends are her weed and her Hello Kitty vibrator. Along comes Jean Simons, who wants to create a virus to destroy the authoritarian element of society...and kill Charles Manson.

Follow her across the country to the deep south and back again as she pursues her own happiness and a psychopathic mass murderer.

Warning: Contains explicit language, drug use and "adult situations".

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Pre-Fabbed Covers - Right or Wrong?

There's a bit of debate about using prefabbed covers. Worry no more. When CL Smith is your cover designer, you can't go wrong with his work.

http://www.goonwrite.com/ 

Check out these designs:






That should take all the worry out of finding the perfect cover. Lots more on his site. Plus he does custom orders, and he's very affordable. The pre-made covers are a blanket price of $60...

http://humblenations.com/

That's CL Smith. Tell him Jason Z. Christie sent you. He does my covers exclusively.

Lucky Red Lighter

I carry a red lighter with me at all times
To remind me
Of the love that was
The love that is
And the love that will always be

The Nuts and Bolts of Spamming

Okay, call it direct marketing, if that makes you feel better. But there are a number of things you can do in the specific that will make your marketing efforts more effortless.

Mainly by going into battle properly armed.

Do you use KDP a lot? Make a list of your books, and all pertinent information in a text file. This will make filling out twenty forms a lot easier. Yes, you can use a form filling app, and I recommend them, even though I don't use them myself. They can do 80% of the work for you. Use a Firefox one for added security.

Tweet a lot? Make a text file with all of your tweets. That way, all you have to do is change the description each day. Hootsuite is also a, erm, hoot to use. The scheduler will let you set up the entire days tweets in ten minutes. A big time savings, and more importantly, a big savings in efforts.

Hootsuite will also post to both Facebook and Twitter, cutting your work in half, there.

Mailchimp seems to be the writer's best friend of late for sending targeted email. It takes a little while to set up, twenty minutes or so, but that list can become quite valuable. Be sure and include the required footer, something you might miss if you rush through set-up. It's a spamming disclaimer required by law.

So, by spending a few extra minutes making text files, you can save hours per day, giving you more time to pursue reviews and interviews, or maybe even write a bit more.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Createspace Made Easy

Ever spend two days trying to tweak margins in Word to make a paperback on Createspace.com? It turns out you don't have to.

I'm feeling a bit full of myself because I just did seven books in a day. In fact, I spent more time tweaking covers than margins. Add to that the two I did yesterday, and I'm feeling pretty good.

Save your .doc file as a new document, first.

Log onto Createspace and begin the uploading process. You'll need to do this to get your ISBN numbers.

Take the Word .doc and select all. Set the page size. I noticed that if you don't, you'll have inconsistent page sizes, the source of many of the troubles I had early on.

Set the page style to mirrored. Be sure to do this to the entire document, not just the section you're working on. There's a section of the page style dialogue for this.

Add your ISBNs and save it out as a .doc file.

Upload it to Createspace. When the dialogue comes up, just tell it to resize the document. Perfect margins every time.

Set up your cover and you're off to the races. Note: the cover editor is sort of buggy. If it doesn't take the first time, resubmit it.

That's it. It should take less than an hour to get a paperback published with this method.

Have fun,
Jason

More from Ultimate Hustle

Chris Turner sat watching television, blinking intermittently.

"Chris, what are you doing?" Janique asked.

"What?"

"Blinking like that."

"Nothing. Just blinking."

"Chris..."

He sighed. He couldn't put anything past Janique.

"Playing a game."

"A game?"

"In my head."

"In your head?"

"Yes."

"What sort of game?"

"I call it 'Gunshot or Cumshot'."

"Yum. Although I'm not really into gunshots. How do you play?"

"You just imagine shooting someone, or cumming on their face."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Janique hit the intercom button.

"Brad..."

She explained the concept in brief

"Yeah, I can do that. It'd be about five hundred dollars retail."

"Do it," she said. "I want it in stores for Christmas."


11-7-12

Sunday, November 18, 2012

World Without End

"The world will end in 3121."

That was the prediction issued by Deep Thought, aka The God Machine, in response to the query regarding the burning question of when the planet Earth would meet its inevitable demise.

The answer was so pat and succinct, it was shocking in its directness. Still, it gave the denizens of Earth a little over seven hundred years to prepare by terraforming and colonizing Mars. Plenty of time, the Earthlings were assured.

The usual internecine squabbles broke out along the way. Some refused to believe in the infallibility of Deep Thought. Others wanted to stay behind and be destroyed along with the planet.

This led to the development of Boson-Higgs VI, the planet splitter, a bomb capable of cracking the Earth from mantle to core. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

As the final ships from Earth landed on Mars, one of the radical clerics in opposition to Deep Thought detonated the BH VI.

The year?

3121.



Written in ten minutes on 11-6-12 by Jason Z. Christie.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Some of the reasons I love you so very much



587. Your smile.
586. You're the sweetest girl in the world.
585. SUPERSEXY.
584. Random Declarations of Love Via Text.
583. I just love you.
582. Surprises.
581. Yum.
580. The feeling of time travel and destiny.
579. A peaceful, easy feeling.
578. Niceness.
577. Notes. Lots of 'em.
576. You inspire me.
575. Devotion.
574. Superlove.
573. You love me.
572. You're coming back.
571. You're going to marry me.
570. You make me crazy.
569. You make me happy.
568. You make me feel better.
567. I have always loved you.
566. The way you hold a baby.
565. The way you miss me.
564. You love me despite my flaws.
563. You care about my old family.
562. Rushing home because I miss you.
561. You made me a writer.
560. You're understanding.
559. All mine, forever.
558. You're stellar.
557. You're perfect.
556. And you don't even know it.
555. Ice cream shop.
554. We have the rest of our lives.
553. Inner beauty > outer beauty.
552. Outer beauty = wow.
551. Sweeter than sugar, without all the saccharine.
550. You're still here.
549. Wearing my dreadlocks as I drive my motorcycle into the pool.
548. Permanent marker.
547. Relentlessly, sincerely sweet.
546. My eastern star.
545. I love you, forever.
544. You waited for me.
543. We were friends long before Facebook.
542. You stay even though you don't want to.

541. 0,0,0 = <3 br="br" invaded="invaded" my="my" space.="space." you="you">

428. You moved your kids closer for their own good.
427. Cry.
426. Plead.
425. You make me beg.
424. Coupla yuppies...
423. Single female lawyer who married frozen caveman lawyer.
422. You're my best friend.

380. Who made whom?

14. She said, "Once, in LaGrange..."
13. You rhyme with month - orange.
12. Spending time with you.
11. She said.
10. By zero?

08. Member of the Luxurious Flowing Hair Club for Scientists.
07. You are a love scientist.
05. Cruelest dominatrix in the universe.
04. Please don't leave me.
03. Please don't go.
02. I'm sorry.
01. I love you.
     a) I have always loved you.
     b) I will always love you.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Cartoon #1 - John D. Christie, III

All of these cartoons were done when my brother was nine or so.

Sunshine of Your Love

Let me be the one who serves you
And holds you in my arms at night
Let me help to ease your burden
Eagerly and without a fight
Let me share in all your love
My every day is a dream
Let me stay and show you
Exactly what I mean
It's always darkest before the dawn
Until your light returns
Hotter than one thousand suns
My love for you doth burn

Egoless

Pride goeth before a fall
And I'm falling still
I ran until I reached a wall
Before I got my fill
Now I find myself alone
Miserable with pain
I pray the wizard fix me up
If I only had a brain

I'm a whore
But even whores can change

Only You


I look at the moon
And I see your face
Every woman's embrace
Leaves me cold to the touch
So much I regret
And am powerless to change
If only I had known then
New days dawn
And we cannot resist the tides
I am helpless in your wake
There is no greater hope
Than the power to make things right

Fairy Tale


 
Artwork borrowed from Greg De Stefano

Once upon a time
There were two perfect girls
In a decidedly imperfect world
They helped an old man learn
How to love
Something other than himself
But now
In his twilight
He realizes
Children cannot substitute
For a perfect, loving wife